Ask The Expert: The Anatomy of Money with Dr. Deborah Fryer

This is Amplify You the podcast about you discovering your message and broadcasting it to the world. If you're a coach, author or speaker, you'll want to tune in. If you're looking for the best return on your time investment, to get your message out to the world in a bigger way, we're giving you full access behind the scenes look of how we're running our podcasts, how our clients have found success, and what you can do to launch your podcast today. The world needs your message. I'm Michelle Abraham, the host join my family as we unleash your unique genius and find the connections you need to launch your venture today. Join us and let's get amplified.

Welcome, welcome Amplify You family Michelle Abraham, your host and I am here today with an ask the expert interview. And I'm really excited with my guest because not only is this guest absolutely amazing, but I actually got to meet her in person a few weeks ago, which is super cool. So I'm here today with Dr. Deborah Fyer. And we're going to talk about money, money, money, money, and all sorts of other amazing things and why you're not bringing in enough of it and why you need to stop doing some of the things that you are doing to lock yourself from receiving that amazing amount of abundance. S o Dr. Deborah, Hello, how are you doing today?

I am great. So happy to be here.

Oh, I was so grateful that you are here with us. So Dr. Deborah guys is a money mindset mentor and creativity catalyst so she has a so I love this like combination of you. You're a spiritual business coach and creator of the anatomy of money system for holistic wealth and well being. She helps heart centered entrepreneurs breakthrough subconscious mental, emotional and financial blocks. So they can create substantial soul line six or seven figure businesses with ease speed in confidence without working harder, feeling guilty, downplaying your success or selling to your soul. So I'm so excited to dive into this today. Dr. Deborah holds a PhD in comparative literature from Princeton. She's an award winning filmmaker who has created count content for PBS Nova frontline National Science Foundation and other channels. Guys, this old lady I am bringing you today is so amazing. She is practicing yoga for the last and teaching yoga for the last three years, your pre med degree, you've got ancient wisdom and practical Western medicine, all wrapped in together in this beautiful, beautiful bundle. And I'm also the author of best brain hacks, turn on your tap, and the forthcoming anatomy of money, your insight guide to true wealth books. So welcome, welcome. Welcome. Thanks for joining us today.

Thanks for that introduction.

You're welcome. Well, I excited to dive into some of the really interesting, fascinating things that happen all around money. But first, I want to know like what was your first like, initial like, inspiration to dive into the world of money because there's you obviously have like a wealth of background and so many different directions you come from, like, what was it about money that really like attracted you to

Wow, that's incredible. So when the masculine and the feminine are so out of alignment, and we're hearing a lot about this, I hear a lot about it just because of the world that we work in. But to make sure our listeners can understand, so when we're so far out of alignment in one way or another, what does that do to how we are operating in our business?

Interesting. So when I'm seeing a lot of our a lot of our clients are in the wellness space, spiritual space, and I'm feeling that that money conversation, it seems to be really hard for them to make money. Is that because they're so far in now the masculine of giving and feeling generous, and that over delivering that, that's where that's where they're living, and that's where they are being so it's hard to receive money in that space then.

But when we're over giving, we're out of alignment in the feminine, there's a formula and likes to give. And while the masculine also likes to give the masculine likes to give orders, the masculine likes to say this is how it is, the masculine is a kind of firmness. It's a kind of structure, it's a kind of discipline, that's absolutely necessary. And the more discipline we have, the more freedom we have. So a lot of people who are in the healing space, resist discipline. And it's interesting, you know, if you're a fitness trainer, you know that discipline and consistency is the name of the game, you know that if you're going to train a client, to help them to, let's say, run a marathon, it's not going to work for them to run around the block ones, they're going to have to, you know, go a little further than they did the week before. And they're going to have to go a little faster than they did the week before. They're going to have to do some drills, and they're gonna have to do some cross training, they're gonna have to learn to rest, and they're gonna have to dial in their nutrition. And all of this requires discipline, and it requires consistency. And it requires a commitment. You know, I'm a I'm a former marathoner. So this is, you know, I'm sure this influenced how I built my business. When I ran my first marathon, I had never run a marathon before. It's so obvious. But the same is true. If you're saying, I'm going to be a six figure business owner, I'm going to be a seven figure business owner. You're going to be a six figure business owner, before you crash through the six figure ceiling. You're going to be a millionaire business owner, before you make your first million dollars. You have to see yourself as the person who's doing that. So in the case of you know, me running a marathon for the first time, I had to see myself as a marathoner, I had to start acting like a marathoner before I had ever run a marathon. You don't become a marathoner, after you cross the tape, you become a marathoner, the minute you register for the marathon, and you say, I'm doing it. And the same is true for you, as a business owner, like you make the decision now, and you start acting as the person, if you're gonna be a best selling author, you don't become a best selling author after you publish the book. And it's, you know, on the New York Times bestseller list, you practice writing every day, you're a writer, who's writing and you're writing is the result of you being a writer. So step into the shoes of being the entrepreneur, who's walking your business every day, a little bit further down the path. And the results is a result of the action that you are taking every single day. Does that make sense? Yeah, that totally makes sense. Yeah, so if you're, if you're a healer, if you're a fitness trainer, if you're a massage or Reiki, you know, somebody who does spiritual work, you, as a spiritual business owner, you need to be the one walking your business into the world. And, you know, a lot of people that I work with have this belief that says, I can't be spiritual and be rich. And you know, the good news for you, in the for all of us, is that we're all spirit body. And there is nothing richer than spirit, there's nothing more abundant than source. So rather than separating yourself from it, embrace it, recognize that you are source everybody, you are creative consciousness, nobody, and there is nothing that you are not, there is nothing that you are not, but your no thingness will translate into thing, right? The no thing becomes a thing when you walk it into the world.

And is there anything that you're seeing a business owners doing right now that you would like to just be like, stop doing? Not even business owners, but just like, you know, entrepreneurs in general, women? Is there things that you're seeing out there that you really just want people to know that this this is not how you do it? This is how you do it?

I just love that question. Or the things that I see where I'm like, Oh, stop it. Okay. So there are a couple things that popped to mind. One, answer for this, what to say?

I said, I need you to get to have a good answer for this.

So So one of the things that I noticed, is the language that people use. People will say to me, I don't have any money. Really, if that's what you're broadcasting, that's what you shall receive. If you keep saying I don't have any money, your subconscious is always listening. And your subconscious cannot tell the difference between reality and imagination. And so if you keep saying I don't have any money, you will orchestrate the external conditions so that you get to be right about you because your identity, cringe worthy or not. Your identity is based on what you believe about you. This is really a conversation about your identity. So if you keep saying I don't have any money, you will make sure that that is true. And you You could be earning, you know, I worked with multimillionaires, who say I don't have any money. And how does that happen? Because they've set it up. So that yes, they do have multimillion dollar foundations. But it's under, you know, it's behind a wall. They give it all away. It's not available to them. I've worked with people who are multimillionaires who live on $1,000 a month, and they feel like they're being strangled. They have so much money, but they won't allow themselves to have it. You know, I worked with a client once who lived on the beach, and she didn't allow herself to go for a walk on the beach. She lived she had oceanfront property. And she was so in the masculine have, I gotta work, I gotta work, I gotta work, I can't go for a walk on the beach. And, you know, after we work together, and she realized how self depriving she was being of this thing that was right there in our backyard, everything began to shift. So the way that you speak for yourself, you know, I hear people saying, Oh, my business is killing me. Stop. When you talk to yourself like that? How do you think your nervous system responds? With the threat of something killing you? Do you think you go into fight or flight? Yeah. Right. I'm like, please listen, when you say this never works for me, stuff like that, you know, so just being really mindful of what are the words that that come out of your mouth. Another thing that, I noticed that I wish, I wish we would all be more mindful of is there such a photoshopped, filtered, glossy way that people present themselves on social media. And we all need to recognize the temporary pneus of living in a body, we all need to recognize that, that the temporary Enos of money, the temporary ness of, of living on the earth plane, and if you, you know, project, this image of you, that's all photoshopped, and glossy and, and perfected. It doesn't allow the real you to be present. And like, we all crave authenticity, we love authenticity, because we want to authentically self Express, we want to be known for who we are, we don't want to be like this cookie cutter, I gotta fit into that mold. And so I just love, you know, I just love you know, seeing that, you know, you're in your home office, and I was like, it was that a sound and I'm in my home office, my dog is on the floor. And, you know, I just, I just love the feeling of authenticity and realness, because that's what we're craving more than ever. So, so those are two things. And the third thing is, you know, the question of how it should be versus how it is, whenever we catch ourselves in this desire to catapult ourselves into this is how it should be or want to go back to the way it was, we're never fully present. And the degree to which we can be fully in the present moment, not split between Well, this is how it is now but this is how I want it to be in the future. Because if you're well this is how it is now like let's take the example of I don't have any money and really smart really high achieving really incredible people come to me and they say I don't have any money like oh, please can we start to change this change the radio station, if you're going to play that game of I don't have any money in the Now moment creates the future. So you're gonna walk that belief about you into the future into the tomorrow and the next day and the next day and then six months from now, you're still in the place of I don't have any money, we got to change that. We got to change it now and we got to collapse we got to recognize when I say collapse the future the future is now this Now moment becomes the next one and the next one and the next one. So the faster we can all get our heads in this bigger headspace the better for humanity the better for you and all your clients and your family and your body and your health the better for all the plants and the animals in the water that we're all circulating. We're all in it together and then now is affecting all of us your now decision affects everybody.

Yeah. I'm really hyper aware now of people that are running those negative programs and as they're coming out of their mouth, I was like, holy moly my my close family member next to me, Neva who it is but like a close family member I was like really like, every time you say that this is what you're bringing in. I was like, and it's crazy to watch it actually like unfold, like stop saying that.

Posture seeds, you know, and we plant the seed and we water the seed with our attention and it grows. And so you know it's pretty easy. The subconscious leaves clues that are very visible. Look around you look at your you know Look at the internal dialogue that you have with yourself in the privacy of your own mind. Look at you know, the quality of vitality and aliveness that you're experiencing in your body, look at, you know, the clothes you wear, look at the art you're creating, look at the podcasts and the content and, and the relationships and like, look at the whole dealio that is, you know, your creation. And you'll see, well, I created that, because here's what I think about me. Right? Like it's just showing you it's reflecting back to you, your past actions, when people look at their bank account, and they say, I don't have any money. Okay, well, who cares? I mean, I don't mean to be flip about it. But the amount of money in your bank account is a reflection of what you did in the past. That's why I'm saying who cares? Because what you did in the past, is not a reflection of what you're gonna do today. It's not, it's not a reflection of your potential. It's a reflection of what you've allowed yourself to do up until that moment. And anyone who's an entrepreneur knows that money flows through your business and flows out of your business. You know, when I did my first live event, that was freaking scary, because I found myself putting $80,000 on a credit card. And like, every couple of days, I'd have to call the credit card companies saying, can you increase my credit limit? Can you increase my credit limit, because I was putting on a live event and you got to book the room, and you got to book the catering, and you got to book the sound system. And you know, like all of this, it's on you, you're taking a big risk. And you're stepping more and more interfaith, you don't have the money, I didn't have the money, maybe some people do. I didn't. When I did my first live event, but I had a lot of faith, I had a lot of desire and a lot of passion to help people. And I was like, 85,000, in the hole, before the live event, and then I, you know, ran a live event. And then I closed I don't know, close to 200,000 in sales, and then I paid everything off. And it was fine. Knowing that money flows through your business like that, right? It flows out like the tide, and then it flows in and flows out. And then it flows in. And when we recognize the cyclical nature, the continuity, and we don't remove ourselves from being in that continuity, it stops being so scary. I think it is scary when we are not in the flow, and we hold ourselves back. And we're like, No, I'm not going to circulate. I'm not in circulation right now. That money's never going to flow to me. If that's our mindset. You're right, I won't. And when you jump in, and you say, I'm going to let it flow to me and through me, and I'm going to contribute, you know, you recognize that more is always coming. And that the more you circulate, more circulates to you. So it's a completely different perspective, it's a completely different orientation. Yeah, absolutely.

It's like not being attached to not being attached to it, right. And I could see, like, earlier on in my entrepreneurship journey, I was like, you know, it would go out and be like, it would come into that. So like my, my own nervous system was getting exhausted with his circulation. Yeah, and

You live on the ocean, right? You have oceanfront property. So you have lakefront property, but you live near the water, right? Vancouver Island is an island. And so you've got this natural model for you, if the tide coming in, and the tide coming out, the tide coming in, and the tide coming out. And when the tide is going out, where is it going? It's seeding someone over here, right, it's feeding another part of the ecosystem, and then it's going to come back in, it's one water cycle, right? That is flowing through all of us. And that recognition to was really big for me in my entrepreneurial journey, recognizing money flows like water. And the more we allow it to circulate, the more we have, and I'm of the mindset that I haven't when I need it, but I don't need to hoard it, I don't need to hold on to it. And so, you know, I'm totally okay. With, you know, having an $85,000 credit card bill, having no idea how I'm gonna pay for it, knowing that I'm creating something of value that will allow me to be in integrity with my no agreement to the credit card company, right? Like I don't actually need to have it in advance. And I think this is another thing that people get really just freaked out about is I need to have the money before I do XYZ. That's completely backwards. That's like saying, I need to have a baby before I'm gonna have sex. You need to have sex either you and a partner or you and a Petri dish or whoever it happens, right? You need to have this kind of exchange. And then the result is that there's a baby and your business is like that you and the infinite our exchange Doing you and your soul, your purpose, the creativity that is uniquely yours that no one else has no one has your perspective, no one has your experience. And you allowing that to really take root in you and begin to rise from you and their fruit because of you watering that is what results in your business growing.

Amazing. Do you have some daily rituals or daily things that we should be doing? Besides changing what we're saying to ourselves that did help with that.

I have a lot of daily ritual. I love ritual. And I love discipline, because it creates certainty. And you know, this is like the aligned version of the masculine. A lot of people when they heard discipline, they feel like, immediately they go into rebellion. It's authoritative. somebody's telling me what to do. It's militaristic, I don't like it. I learned to love discipline I didn't use to. And I love discipline, because of that structure creates so much freedom for me, it creates so much free time for me, and it creates so much certainty for me. And those conditions, free time, relaxation, and certainty. Feel safe in my nervous system. So here are some of the things that I do every single day without fail. It doesn't matter how busy I am, it doesn't matter if I'm traveling doesn't matter if I'm on vacation. It doesn't matter if I have clients back to back. So the first thing I do every single day is I take a cold shower. Love it. You know, you don't need to have a fancy a fancy freezer, a lot of people have a cold shower will do the trick, you know, or a cold river, or a cold ocean or cold lake jump in every day. Why it's so good for a feeling of aliveness for flushing out the nervous system. So I do that every single day, first thing in the day, every single day. I also meditate first thing in the day, every single day. And you know, I might meditate for 10 minutes, I might meditate for an hour, I always give myself first the spaciousness. And that means I do not look at email. First thing, I do not look at social media. First thing I do not fill my head with other people's agenda and commotion and drama and their requests and their needs and their demands. I don't look at the news. I don't want to know about any of that. I'm allowing this feeling of absolute spaciousness to fill every cell of my being. And that's really important. Because your brain is always watching you to see how should I have a no go forth in my day to day what should I be looking for in my day? So if I'm starting my day with relaxation and ease, my brain is saying, Well, how can this be easy? How can this be relaxing. And that's a great thing to seed your brain with. I also do daily gratitudes every single day I do and first thing in the morning and I didn't last thing at night. As I'm falling asleep. I also move every single day. You know I have a dog so that helps. But even if I didn't have a dog, and I've had one year of my life without a dog, I move every single day I'll get in a swimming pool, I'll do stretching, I'll do yoga, I'll go for a hike, run up and down the stairs. You know your body wants to move and energy, emotion is energy in motion it wants to move. So those are some things I do every day. I also read every single day. So my clients are shocked and thrilled to know that it is your responsibility as a leader to read. You know, like schedule it in, schedule it in read the stuff that inspires you read stuff that that opens your mind read stuff that expands you read stuff that reminds you of your magnificence. And you know the value that you are as a human on the planet. So those are some things everyday Cold Shower movement, meditation gratitudes reading, I also have a journal and I journal every single day. And you know, what do I journal about? There's no structure. Whatever is needing to come out of Deborah's brain at the moment, you don't get to dumped on the page. It might be you know, sometimes I sit down and I just play with numbers. And I'm like, here's what I'm creating. You know, if I'm, if I'm looking at having 100k a month, or I'm looking at leading a retreat, or whatever it is, I'll just write it down. Like okay, these are this is the number of people this is the price point. This is what I'm offering. This is where it's going to be I'll just like dream it I'll just write it down. Maybe I had a dream. And I'll write down the dream and you know, my dreams, your dreams are visual, they're symbolic. They're always talking to you. So I'll write it down. It might be that I'm, I'm having a just a flash of an idea. You know, I have it in the shower today. That's where I get most of my best ideas, by the way is in water. That's why I do the cold shower. And so I wrote down just this flash of an idea that I had I'm also working on this book the anatomy of money. So I'll sit down and I'll like, I'll go between my journal and the manuscript. So I'm at random, everyday writing and everyday reading and everyday moving everyday meditating, everyday cold shower. There's probably more,

Those are great. No, I love those. i Yeah, that was super interesting to hear what you do for your rituals, because I think that will help inspire our audiences. They're listening today. And I just noticing that we're running short on time, I love to have you back again. Because this is so fascinating, I think so helpful for our audience. Now I know you have a gift you want to give the audience. So I'll let you share with what that is.

Sure. So if you're listening today, and you're like, oh, my gosh, I want some of that relaxation, I want some of that spaciousness. My free gift to you is a book I wrote called Turn on your tap. And it is about EFT, tapping, emotional freedom, technique, tapping. Tapping is an incredible hands on process that you can do in five minutes or less, that literally changes the blood flow in your brain. And it will get you out of fear, into a feeling of spaciousness out of anxiety into a feeling of possibility. It's such a powerful practice, I use it with all my clients. And there's a free book that's available to you. And we'll drop that in the show notes that teaches you how to tap. And there's also a tapping script in there for how to manifest $50,000. Awesome, that's great.

And can you also share how you work with clients? Like what is it that you do with them? How do you support them and in your work that you do?

Yeah, I work with clients one on one, I also work with clients in small groups. However we're working together, what we're always doing is we're looking at multiple layers, that your nervous system is responding when you think about money. So when you think about money, your nervous system will have certain words. And if those words are not conscious to you, they'll keep operating underneath your conscious awareness. So I help my clients really unhook from the mental, emotional and financial conditions which are unconscious, but your nervous system immediately knows, you'll feel like oh, I can't breathe, or Ooh, my stomach's in and out, or oh, I have a migraine or Oh, my hip hurts or my shoulder hurts. There'll be some physical manifestation, which is what all of this anatomy of money work is about. How do we integrate this whole body, which is, you know, 95% of you? And the mind, which is about 5% of you? How do we bring them together so that you're operating from a position of wholeness?

So good. So awesome. So if you want to learn more about that, can we head over to your website?

Yes, Deborahfryer.com. You'll find everything there.

Perfect. Awesome. Well, Dr. Deborah this has been absolutely fabulous. Listeners, make sure you reach out to Dr. Deborah because she's got such a wealth of wealth of amazing expertise and wisdom that you need more of. So this was just a little, little, little, little tiny snippet for you today. But I would love to have you back on again. Dr. DeVries is fantastic. And the listeners out there, please reach out. Go grab the free gift to add to your tap and make sure you connect with Dr. Deborah. Any last words for our listeners today. Dr. Deborah

Is cheering you on. You know, I thank you for listening and I celebrate that you're here because you have something to share. Your voice matters. Your mission matters. You're here to inspire people. And you know onward. May you discover ways to release any resistance that you have to letting your voice be heard so that you can be the beacon to others. Amazing.

Thank you so much. All right, Amplify You found my go there and have a fabulous week. We'll see you again next week.